Oh Sweet Woods

Oh sweet woods

I was in tahoe, on the california side

Waiting in the lobby at 665 1/2 frontage road

When two extra-blond, short-sleeve, button-down

White-shirt, blue-tie, mystery mormons

Came in and put this music on

Came in and took me by the arm

And as they had me marching through the parking lot

And as they were marching through the parking lot

They blew into their shirt-pocket microphones

Like this

And then they drove me to an albertson's outside of boise

And took me into a back room.

And they said they wanted to balance my checkbook

And they said the wanted to organize my receipts

And itemize my expenses

And that i had the key

To a safety deposit box

With treasury bonds and the key

To another safety deposit box

Where i'd stashed away

The only pewter pocket watch

That ever belonged to

Joseph smith's great-great uncle's brother-in-law

And i said you've got the wrong eleanor friedberger.

And then they sang at me like this