Smoke Shovelling Song

Last winter blew so cold no lies

And my fire smoke would not rise

Soon as the smoke would tried to depart

It'd be froze up harder than a landlord's heart

I called up the police yes and they came around

Three days later and very brought down

Sergeant he gave me this hysterical croak says

"What do you think you have going here, some kind of joke?"

Of course I wasn't laughing

He says, "You're causing us officers so much grief

Why don't you give us some relief?

Why don't you call the fire brigade?

Or maybe why don't you try shovelling

The smoke up the chimney with a spade"

I borrowed a spade from the woman next door

And I broke up the smoke that remained on the floor

I was shovelling away

'Till the closing day singing a smoke-shovelling song

After working so hard I went out to my yard

And I looked up to my chimney so long

There was nothing to see there

Just a thousand foot high, way into the sky

Was a pillar of smoke full of song

There was an airplane stuck in it

But I didn't notice at first

It was so cunningly disguised as a dragon

Come the summer at last, though it was rainy and fast

The pillar it melted away

Now the airplane fell with a big smoky smell

And echoing around all over the town

Was the words of the smoke shovelling song

Any anyone telling a bigger story

Would have to be telling a lie

And anyone think a bigger one up

Have to be very high