The Real One

[Intro]

The sound is unacceptable

And, my bullshit levels are unsurpassable

And uh' Next year I'mma be in your top 5

And I'm definitely not talking about Myspace

Even though nobody uses Myspace anymore

Because it's cumbersome and the music player pops out and it's annoying

And uh, why'd they do that' Wait, nevermind, yo, yo, let's get 'em

Tha Joker, ugh'

[Verse 1]

My name is Joker, rap name poacher

I eat so much shit, I got dukey in my toaster

I need to run and hide beneath the ground like a gopher

Either that or change my name or my career might be over

I sound like I'm 10 and I'm not much older

I don't know if I could rap any slower

My punchlines are just cute little plays on words

And adaptations of corny internet jokes that I use to make dumb fucking 12 year olds

Think that I'm a dope rapper

Now allow me to put an end to this shit once and for all, listen'

[Verse 2]

Let me show you how the real Jokerr gets down

Having trouble hearing me' Motherfucker then come a little closer

Now I've been out ripping this shit since you were nothing but a little bitch

And I got a chipped shoulder cause I'm older

And I took a whole year and a half of my life at the trademark office

Trying to get the rights to the name on lock

And guess what (punk) your little stint's over

Cause there ain't enough room in the city for the both of us

And I got a certificate hanging up that'll prove it

I've been around since 2002 (bitch)

You were like 12 I was 8 years older

Already ripping motherfuckers apart, already kicking 100 bars

Already running the studio and getting paid

When my nigga Pennywise was moving them keys you was out front slanging that lemonade

[Verse 3]

First off, I don't even know this fag

But I ain't ever heard a joke as bad

Bitch you ain't rich and you ain't a beast on the mic

I've heard better from an open vag

You get your ass kissed by your YouTube fans

Take that shit back into doo-doo land

Thinking you stand a chance in a battle with a real rhymer

You could be the chief of the koo-koo clan

Yeah (yeah, yeah) I know all about ya

Rhyme it slow and rhyme with swag

I'll crush you to bits and rip you open, like a Top Ramen bag

And that'd be a perfect example of them corny metaphors you use

And of course you choose my rap name bitch, Joker' You're just a normal dude

Tell 'em what it is Jade

Tell 'em how you get punked when you in the 'A'

Tell 'em how you gotta take your momma's credit card and get you a limo

Then try to front like you're getting paid

Front like you ain't been looking for a record deal for the last 3 years

Ain't nobody giving you a chance

Cause you're nothing but a little kid with a little dream

And you're never gonna see a record company advance

Cause in the event you get any bigger you might get sued

If I happen to be in a self-righteous mood

Cause I own the motherfucking trademark

Bitch you don't even own that cheap ass mic you use

You're not original at all, don't pretend to be

You're nothing but a fraud with a gimmick

See you took my name, you sing like Wayne and

Well, you look like B.O.B's mini-me

Hey, I'm a gangsta, Ah

I got swag, bitches, broads

I like smoking big cigars

Sipping on Crys' in expensive cars

Ha-ha, I like weed

Big butts, I like thongs

I'm a dope rapper, I got bars

And I use auto-tune in my songs

And I sound like a faggot when I'm singing

I'm nasally and annoying, lacking any meaning

I'm jacking Lil Wayne with his trendy melody

While I sing about standard rapper shit, how typical can I be'

Well my name is Jade Harris and I think I can rap

But I'm not really that good

Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

[Hook x2]

(I'm The Real One)

Well I guess it's Here We Go, Welcome to the Show

It's only a matter of time before the whole world knows

(I'm The Real One)

I'm back from the dungeon, and I hit the ground running

You can hear me coming and I'm screaming'

(I'm The Real One)

There just ain't enough room for the both of us homie I'm sorry but hey

You know the way it goes, so'

(I'm The Real One)

I'm taking over and I'm not doing it for fun

There's only one, homie, there's only one'

[Outro]

You know what Jade' You put a face on all that bullshit that everybody's sick off'

Wack ass little kids with almost no lyrical talent rapping about how much weed they smoke

How many bitches they pull, how much money they got

Knowing good and well you're broke as fuck like everybody else'

And what do I bring to the table' I bring years of perfecting the art of entertainment

Spectacle, lyricism, vocal performance, musicianship'

You ain't The Jokerr, you're just another garbage ass hip hop clone

Now get off my throne chump!