How Lucky Am I?

Well I know I might be wrong

And the vows I haven't made may be wasted

Copy and pasted from false memories

And I very well could be expecting

Too much from a lover

I needlessly suffer for soft yesterdays

And lovely laying on a porch in the rain

When faced with adverse circumstances it's the same

Still you love me, you say so

Enough to recognize that you're lucky, you think so

But how lucky am I?

If I turn it on it's head will the blood rush to it and make me dizzy

Or will it give me the truth that I crave?

When I post my 95 it comes out of me

Like rags on a scholar, a dog on a collar

For I make no sense

Afraid that hurtful words could fill my last breath

A million memories could not sew my chest

Still I hurt you, you say so

Enough to make you cry

Still you don't know

I don't show the reason for my lies