Jizz in My Pants

Lock eyes from across the room

Down my drink while the rhythms boom

Take your hand and skip the names

No need here for the silly games

Make our way through the smoke and crowd

The club is the sky and I'm on your cloud

Move in close as the lasers fly

Our bodies touch and the angels cry

Leave this place, go back to yours

Our lips first touch outside your doors

A whole night what we've got in store

Whisper in my ear that you want some more

And I jizz in my pants

This really never happens, you can take my word

I won't apologize, that's just absurd

Mainly your fault for the way that you dance

And now I jizz in my pants

Don't tell your friends or I'll say you're a slut

Plus it's your fault, you were rubbing my butt

I'm very sensitive, some would say that's a plus

Now I'll go home and change

I need a few things from the grocery

Do things alone now mostly

Left me heart-broken, not lookin' for love

Surprised in my eyes when I looked above

The checkout counter and I saw a face

My heart stood still, so did time and space

Never thought that I could feel real again

But the look in her eyes said, "I need a friend"

She turned to me, that's when she said it

Looked me dead in the face asked, "Cash or Credit?"

And I jizzed in my pants

It's perfectly normal, nothing wrong with me

But we're going to need a clean-up on Aisle 3

And now I'm posed in an awkward stance

Because I jizzed in my pants

To be fair you were flirting a lot

Plus the way you bag cans got me bothered and hot

Please stop acting like you're not impressed

One more thing, I'm gonna pay by check

Last week I saw a film

As I recall it was a horror film

Walked outside into the rain

Checked my phone and saw you rang

And I jizzed in my pants

Speeding down the street when the red lights flash

Need to get away, need to make a dash

A song comes on that reminds me of you

And I jizz in my pants

The next day my alarm goes off

And I jizz in my pants

Open my window and a breeze rolls in

And I jizz in my pants

When Bruce Willis was dead at the end of Sixth Sense

I jizzed in my pants

I just ate a grape

And I jizzed in my pants

I went to the, jizzed in my pants

(Okay, seriously you guys, can we? Okay?)

I jizz right in my pants every time you're next to me

And when we're holding hands it's like having sex to me

You say I'm premature, I just call it ecstasy

I wear a rubber at all times, it's a necessity

'Cause I jizz in my pants

(I jizz, yes, I jizz in my pants)

(Yes, I jizz in my pants, yes, I jizz in my pants)

Yes, I jizz in my pants

(I jizz, yes, I jizz in my pants)