Lyrics The Lonely Island

The Lonely Island

Perfect Saturday

Yea

This beat remind me of back in the day

Sunshine chillin

Man, tell em about your perfect Saturday

Woke up at ten, no worries at all

Another sunny day in LA, that’s how we roll

Hit my homie J cuz he rolls the blunts tight

Head’s still spinnin from the freaks last night

Yea man, you know I got the sticky for sho

And 5 females coming over at 4

I’mma hop in the shower, clean my nuts

Throw on the polo sport to impress the stunts

Rollin up in the Charger with the suicide doors

Top down cruising as I head to the store

Jim has some brews, everything that we need

Then back to the crib smoking indoor weed

It’s the perfect Saturday, there’s knock on the door

Man these girls are here early, it’s a quarter to four

Man, which of these freaks I’mma see in my bed

Open the door and see my homie Ned

Oh hey guys, how’s it going?

(Wuddup Ned?)

I got 911, need to use your head

(That’s a no can do, ooh your breath is all hit)

Yea, I know, now move, I gotta take a shit

(Now normally Ned, the bathroom was yours

But we got those fine freaks coming over at 4)

Fine freaks! Okay, new plan

I’ll just hold it and let out small farts for the rest of the night

Okay Ned, thanks for stopping by

(You’re welcome)

Seriously Ned, it was good to see you

(I know)

Listen, the freaks are gonna be here any minute

We gotta get rid of this guy

Hey dude, he’s your friend, you should ask him to leave

Listen, if the freaks come here he cannot be here

Oh, god

Shit!

Ah, one second

What time is it?

It’s 4, it’s them

Who? The freaks?

Yes, get Ned out

Ned you gotta hop out the window

But we’re on the 5th floor,

Yes, move like endo

I’m not doing that

Then hit the bathroom on the double

The dump's in my butt and your toilets are trouble

Look, seriously I’ll hold it

I’ve been in this situation literally hundreds of times

Oh what the fuck?

Oh no

I’m gonna need to borrow some pants

No

Oh hey ladies

(Oh my God it smells like fuckin death in here)

Hey freaks!

(This place smells like shit)

It was them

We're out of here

Becca wait

Oh you guys blew it

Well that’s too bad but we ain’t mad

No. In fact, we got something to show you

It’s down this hallway, and open this door

(A surprise?)

Yea man, something like that

So walk out front and don’t look back

(What’s all this plastic? Were you painting last night?)

Don’t worry about it, just walk towards the light

(It sure is pretty)

Yea, sure is

Close your eyes Ned

(You’re my only friends)

Yea, motherfuckers

You already think you were gonna get out of this without a fart joke did you?

You wack motherfuckers

You pussy motherfuckers

The fuck yall thinkin?

This is Lonely Island!

Oh cause we got a little paper now?

And you see us on the TV

You think we don’t do fart jokes no more?

We were doin fart jokes when you were suckin ya mama’s tit

Ya fart motherfuckers, fuck yall