The Nun's Litany

I want to be a playboy's bunny

I'd do whatever they asked me to

I'd meet people with lots of money

and they would love me

like I loved you

I want to be a topless waitress

I want my mother to shed one tear

I'd throw away this old sedate dress

slip into something a tad more sheer

I want to be an artists' model

An odalisque, au naturel

I should be good at spin-the-bottle

while I've still got something

left to sell

I want to be a cobra dancer

with Little Willy between my thighs

I may not find a cure for cancer

but I'll meet plenty of single guys

I want to be a brothel worker

I've always been treated like one

If I could be a back-street lurker

I'd make more money

and have more fun

I want to be a dominatrix

which isn't like me, but I can dream

learn S, and M,

and all those gay tricks

and men will pay me to

make them scream

I want to be a porno starlet

(for that I'll wait till Mama's dead)

I'll see my name in lights of scarlet

and get to spend every day in bed

I want to be a tattooed lady

dedicated, as I am, to art

Characters bold, complex and shady

will write my memoirs

across my heart.