Drunken Lazy Bastard

Last night at the pub I met my cousin Rory

It was a good day for me so I drank the pints away

And when I arrived home, my babe she was a waiting

I couldn't understand it why she smacked me in the face

Well nine the next morning she sent me to the job centre

They asked me what I do, I said I didn't have a trade

They said come back tomorrow, I said no problem officer

So I went back to the pub and I put the pints away

Get up out of bed you drunken' lazy bastard

You drink all night and you sleep all day

Get up out of bed you drunken' lazy bastard

If you don't get off your arse, then I'll be on my way

When I arrived home, my babe already left me

She saw me in the boozer in the middle of the day

Well I guess that's the end of our twenty year marriage

So I went back to the pub and I put the pints away

Get up out of bed you drunken' lazy bastard

You drink all night and you sleep all day

Get up out of bed you drunken' lazy bastard

If you don't get off your arse, then I'll be on my way

Last night at the pub I saw my cousin Rory

I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw who he had at bay

The bastard had my wife that's not the end of the story

The dirty drunken bastard drinks twice as much as me!

Get up out of bed you drunken' lazy bastard

You drink all night and you sleep all day

Get up out of bed you drunken' lazy bastard

If you don't get off your arse, then I'll be on my way