I Hate My Band

i hate my band they are what i am

they're filthy deceitful from fire to pan

and when i look back on what they've done to my life

they've cost me my dog, my job, and my wife

i hate my band more than you could know

they take yer mother and coercer to sew

the holes in their socks and even their kilts

they've spoiled the mil before it's been spilt

but don't get me wrong they're goods lads at heart

halos and horns, they got pitchforks and harps

i'm singin' you the story so that it be told

i toured as a young man, they made me old

i hate my band it's always the same

they waste all my time and they force me to play

when the concert is over the music is done

we constantly battle cuz 'it's half the fun

but don't get me wrong they're goods lads at heart

halos and horns, they got pitchforks and harps

i'm singin' you the story so that it be told

i toured as a young man, they made me old

i hate my band for all and for one

if we didn't sing it there'd be nae song at all

when finally alone and safe in my grave

i comfort to know that i may have escaped

so do me a favor when i've played my hand

inscribe on my tombstone "i hate my band."