The Knicker Elastic King

He used to travel in bath cubes

Until the slump came, faced with redundancy

He turned his mind to other things

And soon became a household name

Knicker Elastic, everybody used it

Knicker Elastic, nobody refused it

The Knicker Elastic King

The Knicker Elastic King

A self-made man with a business to run

And something to sell to everyone

The Knicker Elastic King

He grew so rich the Gnomes of Zurich were green with envy

The darling of the stock exchange

Made the New Year's honors list

And won the Queen's Award to Industry

Knicker Elastic, essence of propriety

Knicker Elastic, upholder of society

The Knicker Elastic King

Ooh, la la

His rubber business kept expanding

But then disaster

Ee bah gum

The price of raw materials coupled with inflation

Squeezed his global holdings

His liquid assets bottomed out

And shrunk his retail outlet operation

And that's the story of The Knicker Elastic King

And market forces, The Knicker Elastic King

Horses for courses

A self-made man with a business to run

Something to sell to everyone

The Knicker Elastic King

Ooh, la la

The Knicker Elastic King