Love Potion No. 9

I took my troubles down to Madam Ruth,

you know that Gypsy with the gold capped tooth.

She's got a pad down at thirty fourth and vine,

sellin' little bottles of Love Potion Number Nine.

I told her that I was a flop with chicks,

I've been this way since nineteen fifty six.

she looked at my palm and she made a magic sign,

she said, `What you need is Love Potion Number Nine.`

She bent down and turned around and gave me a wink,

she said, `I'm gonna mix it up right here in the sink.`

It smelled like turpentine and looked like India ink.

I held my nose, I closed my eyes, I took a drink,

I didn't know if it was day or night,

I started kissin' ev'rything in sight.

But when I kissed the cop down at thirty fourth and vine,

he broke my little bottle of Love Potion Number nine.