Sermon

"Ladies and gentleman, welcome to the church of slack.

I come before you today to save you from the perils of the evil.

The clutches of sin!

And the devils and daemons lurking from within.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I come before you today and I present the world's first guilt-free religion.

That's right, boys and girls, no more waking up early on sunday morning,

it's all about believing in yourself!

I said it's all about believing in yourself!

I said it's all about believing in yourself!

Now listen up closely and listen to me,

and I'll make sure you live the rest of your life bullshit-free!

That's right, ladies and gentlemen, everybody out there, listen to me right now.

I want you to put your hand on the stereo.

Put your hand on the speaker.

Not that speaker, the other speaker!

Put your hand on the speaker.

I want you to put your hands in the air where I can see them.

And I want you to repeat after me:

I am somebody!

I said I am somebody!

And I'm gonna believe in myself!

Because...

I am somebody!

And I'm gonna shake my ass."