Such a Twat

Yeah safe man, you ok?

Just calling to ensure you got back in

Hope you coped yesterday, cos I felt well damn grim

But yeah in the air on the plane my stomach was turning

Man I was hanging

head-to-sted on the headrest in pain

Prayed away all my bad sins

Lost count of the plain chardonnays before the fourth or maybe the fifth

In future I need to abstain

If only id had a bit of discipline

But worth every bit of spare change

Pure clowning down to the last drink

(Hang on let me slam the door mate; just pause that thought for a bit)

Why did I have to go and do a stupid thing like that

Coz yeah it felt like we were through though

But I could've ruined it, I’m such a twat

I’ve been pacing the place well paralysed since I got back in with my bags though

Yeah I’m too aware that last night was way mad slack

I know

Carried in a gang I lost sight of Simone

On her own back at home

Distracted from the fact it weren’t right

could have raised up the hand but no

Simone was moaning and that about me playing away on this holiday

She was watching the box at her dad’s house

there, preparing spliffs away

As I’m smacking glasses down at George Bests best session rate

(Can you hear me? Na sorry mate your fuzzy mate I can’t hear ya)

Why did I have to go and do a stupid thing like that

Coz yeah it felt like we were through though

But I could've ruined it, I’m such a twat

(I lost you for a minute yeah yeah I can hear you now)

See I mean that the true thing though I suppose I chose myself to allow

I was weak and stupid but as far as I viewed anyhow

She couldn’t have been it for me, the only girl id ever go out with

I didn’t want to waste my youth in a girl’s house to the sound of spliffs

And when she got in a mood with me in that text about that thing

I just switched off the phone when she started shouting

Coming to a conclusion I couldn’t be bothered with anymore rowing

Why did I have to go and do a stupid thing like that

Coz yeah it felt like we were through though

But I could've ruined it, I’m such a twat

(Nah nah nah)

And then after shots made me lose the plot

It all got a bit bizarre

And that incident with the ice cream I forgot, it all ended in our vodka

What I can remembers a blotch

I got a fat bruise on my arm

She weren’t even much too hot but she totally mugged me up like rah

She knew exactly what she was doing and it all went a bit too far

She was with that bloke in the white top in McDonalds car park

And then she let me chat her up later on in that lovely little bar

(Hello? Ahh fucking phones man)

Why did I have to go and do a stupid thing like that

Coz yeah it felt like we were through though

But I could've ruined it, I’m such a twat

(Yeah I think we got cut off, yeah I got crap reception in my house.

I have to stand in a certain spot in my kitchen or it cuts out)

Yeah you know I was potty to even let myself allow it

I would if I could just swap what happened then for right now

And if she ever found out how far it got it would be more than just a row

This whole thing just got on top but its her that I want, no doubt

So in a way its helped me doing wrong

I know I’ve fucked up now

This is where that dodgy shit stops

She’s just gotta not find out

Why did I have to go and do a stupid thing like that

Coz yeah it felt like we were through though

But I could've ruined it, I’m such a twat

Why did I have to go and do a stupid thing like that

Coz yeah it felt like we were through though

But I could've ruined it, I’m such a twat