Heaven to Hell

I thought I'd be happy in heaven

I thought it would be swell

I thought I'd be happy in heaven

In fact I'm as unhappy as hell

The harps, they all bore me

St. Peter's jokes are a farce

The angels look down their noses

because I'm from a different class

St. Mathews discovered religion

He converts people every day

Whenever he gets near me

I tell him to go away

St. Christopher, I've been rude to him

I told him what he could do with his staff

I told him where he could stick it

And he didn't laugh

Only old Mary is good'un

Yeah, she's a good sort

She's generous with everyone

She's a good sport

And God, he's a miserable bastard

He's always making up rules

I'm terribly disillusioned

I think he's a silly old fool

Jesus, he plays the guitar

He sings like Joni Mitchell

I thought I'd be happy in heaven

But in fact I'm unhappy as hell