Ugly Joe

You got a face on the front

you got a face on the back

Your beard is so long

it’s going down your back

You’re so ugly mirrors you crack

Down a back alley

you’d better mind your back

You’re so ugly…

You’re so ugly…

Where others got skin

you got scales

You look a bit green

and a bit pale

At genteel conversation

you’re gonna fail

You’re as slimy as a garden snail

You’re so ugly…

You’re so ugly…

You got a bird’s nest in your beard,

you hang around looking weird

You open your mouth saying

something queer,

as you drink twenty pints of beer

You’re so ugly…

You’ve got less charm

than Attila the Hun

You got a dirty face

and a dirty bum

Adolf Hitler would have been a chum

You’re a dirty low-life piece of scum

You’re a bearded leady in the freakshow,

when they look at you you let them know

You can use more holes than they can show,

the hate from you is quick to flow

You’re so ugly…

The little kids want to pull your beard

you stab them with your spear

When they say is it real,

sometimes you let them have a feel (of your fist)

Ugly…

Ugly Joe…