What Do You Want From Life?

What do you want from life?

To kidnap an heiress

Or threaten her with a knife?

What do you want from life?

To get cable TV

And watch it every night

There you sit, a lump in your chair

Where do you sleep

And what do you wear

When you're sleepin'?

What do you want from life?

An Indian guru

To show you the inner light

What do you want from life?

A meaningless love affair

With a girl that you met tonight

How can you tell when you're doin' alright?

Does your bank account swell

While you're dreamin' at night?

How do know when you're really in love?

Do violins play when you're touching the one

That you're lovin'? oh

What do you want from life?

What do you want from life?

Someone to love

And somebody you can trust

What do you want from life?

What do you want from life?

To try and be happy

While you do the nasty things you must

What do you want from life?

What do you want from life?

What do you want from life?

What do you want from life?

Well, you can't have that

But if you're an American citizen, you are entitled to

A heated kidney shaped pool, a microwave oven

Don't watch the food cook

A Dyna-Gym, I'll personally demonstrate it

In the privacy of your own home

A king size Titanic unsinkable

Molly Brown water bed with polybendum

A foolproof plan and an airtight alibi

Real simulated Indian jewelry

A Gucci shoetree, a year's supply of antibiotics

A personally autographed picture of Randy Mantooth

And Bob Dylan's new unlisted phone number

A beautifully restored 3rd Reich swizzle stick

Rosemary's baby

A dream date in kneepads with Paul Williams

A new Matador, a new mastodon, a Maverick

A Mustang, a Montego, a Merc Montclair

A Mark IV, a meteor, a Mercedes, an MG

Or a Malibu, a Mort Moriarty, a Maserati

A Mac truck, a Mazda, a new Monza, or a moped

A Winnebago, hell, a herd of Winnebagos

We're giving 'em away

Or how about a McCulloch chainsaw

A Las Vegas wedding, a Mexican divorce

A solid gold Kama Sutra coffee pot

Or a baby's arm holding an apple?