Ode To Biddy McGee

When I was young and in me prime

I courted Biddy McGee

A fine, big, strapping lump of a woman

And she stood about two foot three

Her father was a mean old creature

He had plenty of gold and land

But he rared up dog rough

The dirty, mean, old, miserable, old devil

When I asked for his daughter's hand

I resolved there and then for Molly's sake

That the two of us would elope

I borrowed the ladder from Mickey O'Brien

And twenty yards of good, strong, strapping rope

I put the ladder up the Molly's boudoir

That's French for a woman's bed

But the ladder broke and the whole

Twenty stone fell down on me bloody head

Well I threw her into the ass and chart

And for the clergy we set out

I found father Nagle in McCarth's pub

With his head in a barrell of stout

He looked at me with his bleary old eyes

And sized Molly up and down

Oh I pity you my son, I'm dying of the thirst

Will you buy me two bottles of stout

I'll only charge you half a crown

Well, do you take this fine, big, strapping lump of

woman

To be your lawful wedded wife

Will you feed her bacon and cabbage and spuds

For the rest of your natural life

And when the icy winds blow around her old legs

Will you guard her from the chill

Oh will you buy me another bottle of stout

I'm dying with the drought

Ah be Jesus father I will

Now, I've been married for twenty years

And I don't regret one day

And that was last Wednesday fortnight

She told me she was in the family way

I threw her into the ass and chart

And she landed like a sack

I brought her back to her old father

I said listen here you dirty, mean, old, rotten, old,

miserable, Old devil

You can have your daughter back.