New Years With Carl Weathers

Two miles from the hotel, eight hundred from home

We're forced to call on all we know

But all we know's a joke

The van just started shaking, coughing out black smoke

We're pulling off in a parking lot cause this might just explode

Cause it's New Year's Eve and four degrees

We're stranded, hopeless

I just want some sleep

Drew's too busy sexting with some girl he met last show

Tripping balls from the soft effects of a Nyquil overdose

Nobody's been asking how we're gonna get home

Cause we all know

We'll deal with it tomorrow

Yeah, we know

It's gonna be our year, boys

I'd speak up

But I'm waiting for the irony to fall asleep without me

And we'll wait and see

With some luck and patching up

I think I'll be home this week

We'll deal with it our own way

And we'll stay, and we'll wait,

And we'll wake in this awkward mess we made

A landscape forged from pizza crust

And what's left of a case

We'll make friends in every state

Like the cops in the parking lot

Or staff of Steak'N'Shake

It's gonna be our year, boys

I'd speak up

But I'm waiting for the irony to fall asleep without me

And we'll wait and see

With some luck and patching up

I think I'll be home this week

But I'm too tired to speak

I'll say, "Hey man, I'll see you in Cleveland"

Someone go tell the universe we're not concerned

We know that it's out to get us

But we'll never learn

So if you're thinking you just got the best of me

Man, we don't go down that easy

It's gonna be our year, boys

I'd speak up

But I'm waiting for the irony to fall asleep without me

And we'll wait and see

With some luck and patching up

I think I'll be home this week