Cracked

The callus left by years of steady self-destruction

Has finally dried and cracked like thinnest clay

The irritation pours out from repression

These are the things I thought I threw away

Strange how you cannot change when you want

But see that I am no chameleon here

So all of this comes back to who I was

Before the wind had blown away my fear

No matter what you do to avoid them

Your past and problems will not wander off

And like a boulder on the path to self-corruption

The light between the cracks is not enough

You call unto the walls that you construed

The walls that break my shattered body's fall

You cannot undermine what I am feeling

The only thing I want is to feel nothing at all

Digging in your lithosphere

Why aren't all the answers here?

Physical life is a trap

I can make you disappear

The scar of harsh rejection opens wide

It's been so long and here is comfort cold

The ones who summon noble introspection

Are now like famished wolves with flesh to hold

And only once did everything subside

Perhaps it was my one and only taste

Of life through eyes of nobody defined

Pull more and more till winter comes and I have been

erased

And so am I

So here am I