If You Open Your Mind Too Much Your Brain Will Fall Out (take My Wife)

If anyone can show me one example in the history of the

world of a single

Psychic who has been able to prove under reasonable

experimental conditions that they are able to read

minds

And if anyone can show me one example in the history of

the world of a single

Astrologer who has been able to prove under reasonable

experimental conditions that they can predict future

events by interpreting celestial signs

And if anyone can show me one example in the history of

the world of a single

Homeopathic Practitioner who has been able to prove

under reasonable experimental conditions that solutions

made of infinitely tiny particles of good stuff

dissolved repeatedly into relatively huge quantities of

water has a consistently higher medicinal value than

a similarly administered placebo

And if anyone can show me one example in the entire

history of the world of a single

Spiritual or religious person who has been able to

show either empirically or logically the existence of a

higher power with any consciousness or interest in the

human race or ability to punish or reward humans for

there moral choices or that there is any reason -

other than fear - to believe in any version of an

afterlife

I’ll give you my piano, one of my legs, and my wife