Pride

Pride comes before the fall

Pride comes before the fall

But in between the pride and the fall

There's usually a bottle of Tequila

Tequila comes before the fall

And pride comes before Tequila

But in between the pride and Tequila

There's usually a lady who you love with all your heart and all your head

Who implies that you are bad in bed

Whereas before that lady you though sexually you rocked

That you went off like a frog in a sock

Pride comes before the fall

And the fall comes after the lady

And the lady comes before the Tequila

But in between the lady and Tequila

There's usually an argument incited by the fracture in your pride

Where you tell the lady she wasn't much to write home about either

That is, if hypothetically, you habitually wrote home about your sexual partners, which you don't

But even if you did, you wouldn't do

That's when the lady throws a shoe

Tequila comes before the fall

And pride comes before Tequila

And the Tequila comes after the lady... and the shoe

And in between Tequila and the fall

There's usually an unforgettable amnesiac evening with your mates with equal measures of sexism and pull

And a great deal of amusing hi-jinx involving nude runs though your old high school

Til you vomit on a football pitch

After which

You have no pride at all

Followed by the sweet, sweet taste of self-hatred

Which can be loosely described as the fall

So though the Bible may be chronologically correct when it states that a fall is preceded by pride

Like all Bible lessons, it should only be used as a guide