Lyrics Todd Snider

Todd Snider

Is This Thing On?

Is this thing working?

Is this thing on?

Is this thing working?

Is this thing on?

Is this thing working?

Is this thing on?

In the hallway of a high school

Anywhere USA

There was a bully pickin' on a different kid

It seemed like every day

A pack of back slapping buddies

Laughing, backing him all the way

His screaming girlfriend

Makin' believe in everything he'd say

Is this thing working?

Is this thing on?

Is this thing working?

Is this thing on?

And then one day some kid

That he'd beat up a couple times before

Realized, to even his surprise

That he probably could indeed take more

And with that he hatched the evil plan

To make that devil pay

He walked up to him, in the middle of the gym

Found the nerve to say

You gonna hit somebody, today?

Gonna hit me, too

In fact, you're gonna hit me every day

'Cause now I'm picking on you

And as crazy as that might sound right now

I'm ain't stopping until I'm through

It's too late to beg for mercy

And now there's nothing you can do

Is this thing working?

Is this thing on?

Is this thing working?

Is this thing on?

Well, that bully just laughed and laughed

Of course, and so did all of his friends

And he beat that kid unmercifully

For days and days on end

Only less and less impressively

To that girl and all his friends

Who would eventually, secretly

Start hoping, the kid might win

Is this thing working?

Is this thing on?

Is this thing working?

Is this thing on?

Monday, they rolled around in dirt

Tuesday, they rolled in grass

Wednesday, they actually both got hurt

Throwing each other across

Thursday the mail, it was out by the dumpster

Friday study hard

A day in and out, year after year

Without ever letting up at all

Is this thing working?

Is this thing on?

Is this thing working?

Is this thing on?

And now you'll never hear him say this 'cause

He thinks people still don't know

But winning the battle every day

Cost our bully the war a long time ago

And of all the scars he's got to show

For every blow that kid sneaks in

The worst one's knowing

That tomorrow he's going to have to get up

And fight that kid again