Is This Any Way to Run an Airline?

Oh, the airline ticket reservation counter lady

Is a very special friend of mine

When I asked her in the morning if my flight was ready

She assured me it was right on time

Oh, the taxi to the airport cost me seven or eight

And the porter got another buck or two

When some joker on the microphone said, “Sorreee

But we've got a little bad news for you”

It's getting cloudy up in Boston

Montreal is socked in tight

Washington is closed for Christmas

Philadelphia's out on strike

Minnesota's up to here in snow

And Tulsa's closed tonight you know

Please be patient five more minutes

Hope you have a pleasant flight

Oh, the airline passenger relations representative

Was very sympathetic to me

Just as soon as we completely overhaul your astro-liner

You’ll be airborne just as quick as can be

Then of course we'll need a stewardess but never you mind

We'll have one trained in plenty of time

Won't you settle in our astro-lounge in comfort

We'll be leaving at a quarter of nine

But the astro-lounge was crowded and the coffee shop was crammed

The coke machine was broken and they closed the hot dog stand

I couldn't find a magazine, they broke the cigarette machine

The shoeshine boy was sleeping, and my radio was jammed

Oh, I carefully examined every corner of the building

For the next fourteen hours or so

And the bulletins kept coming from the reservation counter

“Yessiree we're getting ready to go

For we're flying in another plane from London you see

Any minute now that plane should appear

You'll be leaving in a minute, providing

This little bit of nasty weather should clear”

For it's getting cloudy up in Boston

And it's snowing up in Maine

Los Angeles is hopeless

And Chicago's getting rain

You've had a couple dirty days

But your ticket's good for thirty days

And when the runway is completed

Would you like to board your plan