Martin

I just want to tell you about Martin

'Cause nobody I know has got a brother like him

As kids we could never be parted

The neighbours all knew us as the terrible twins

At school some kids were always looking for a fight

But Martin never wanted a fuss

Bigmouth Brown thought he'd push him around

Being three years older than us

So I smashed him in the mush with the cloakroom stool

I got six of the best and suspended from school

But it was worth it with a brother like Martin

It was worth it with a brother like him

We used to nick motors for a joyride

Till we rammed a Black Maria in this XJ6

To give Martin time to get clear

I tried to punch a few policemen before I got nicked

I got Borstal for taking and driving away

And beating up the boys in blue

But Martin never missed a single visiting day

He hitched from Clapham to Crewe

With all me racing mags and the little bits of news

Smuggling in ciggies and a little bit of booze

No one ever had a brother like Martin

No one ever had a brother like him

People get the wrong impression with Martin

I know he doesn't mix much but he's no snob

The weekend I got out of remand home

He'd got Uncle Ruby to find me this job

And back at my Nan's he'd repainted my room

And bought me a brand new carpet

There was all me old records and books on a shelf

And a secondhand telly from the market

You can get a bit hard when you've been inside

But I hugged the old bastard and I almost cried

'Cause no one ever had a brother like Martin

No one ever had a brother like him