You Can't Trust the Weatherman

Her daddy hated his tattoos

But she was in love with a baby due in

September, early September

So they called the kinfolk, set up the bar

Threw some chairs out in the yard

And got a preacher, a Pentecostal preacher

And the man on the evening news

Promised sunny and 72, but

You can't trust the weatherman

Makes his livin' off a lucky chance

Whole crowd was soakin' wet

Mud all over Mama's dress

No sign of the sun

But a surefire sign of things to come

One thing you can plan

You can't trust the weatherman

Six months after the knot got tied

There were diapers and a double wide

They couldn't pay for

One day they had a brainstorm

She held the gun he cracked the safe

They pulled it off and they pulled away

They were laughin' till they saw lights flashin'

Forecast on the radio

Never ever mentioned snow, but

You can't trust the weatherman

Makes his livin' off a lucky chance

Cop car hit a patch of ice

Spun around, flipped on its side

That couple got away

Cops only had one thing to blame

Shook off the snow, threw up their hands

Said, You can't trust the weatherman

They hid their cash under the bed

Of a condo in Club Med

Where the chance of sunshine is

One hundred percent, but

You can't trust the weatherman

Makes his livin' off a lucky chance

Hurricane came rippin' through

Tore that condo right in two

Stuff scattered everywhere

Stolen money flyin' through the air

If you wonder how the story ends

They're back out in the sticks again

So remember when you're makin' plans

You can't trust the weatherman

Can't trust the weatherman, no no