A New Kind of Sexy

I got a new kind of sexy

I'm working on a recipe for rich

And exotic combinations of some fresh kinds of sexy

A new kind of sexy

My face is like the California government

In terms of how it tends to budget what it's covered in

Hair follicles are public school doors

Every day I open up a new pore

And close two more

But it's improper now to comment on what's risen

Because pimples pop up commoner than prisons

It's all blackheads-- no justice now

But they get overcrowded and I bust em out

I'm like Pop! Pop! motherfucker, I'm a bad man

And some day my skin'll crack like the Badlands

Like my dad's is

But if that's all, I don't give a rat's balls

I'll wear them like they're badges

Damn a boyscout

They're manscout patches

Because I'm endowed, and how! Dammit

And I know my body makes you want to hang out bad

The way my skin is cleaner than a Shamwow ad

And someday you'll see my stubble from the Hubble

On my mama on the double I'mma look like Barney Rubble

Yo, I'm something like a Harry and the Henderson's

Notice every time my knuckles be married to the pen again

Cause follicles be flying out my wide pores

Double standard cause I love my body hair but mind yours, girl

I'm grizzly-esque, you bet he thinks the Yetis wonder "Is he blessed?"

My shoulder hair sheen like a solar flare

I'm a polar bear seeking out a bowl of Nair

Was he fuzzy from his childhood or early days?

Every time I cook I guzzle up a dozen curly strays (yucky)

My tweezers stay plucking

You're girly gets floss her teeth every time she's, well

Kissing on my lower regions

The reason that I keep her is that it's good for colder seasons

But in the summer time I'm the asshole

Sun bathing at the beach, belly like an afro

I got a plan laid for my next bland date

Tell the boring breezy wait I forgot to manscape

But for now

I got a new kind sexy

I'm working on a theory of a new

And experimental blend of different rare kinds of sexy

A new kind of sexy

I got a couple regrettable tattoos

But you can't see them when I wear a black suit

Got drunk off of Jagers out in Vegas last June

And them water parks kids yell "Look at that douche"

You know saying 'if looks could kill'?

Well my style is harmless, I shop at GoodWill

End of hipster, swap me hood feel

Four strip Adidas but that shit look real (good deal!)

Call me a fashionista, skinny dude

Give me food, cash or VISA

A freeloader who reeks of weed odor

Trying to get the freaks to scream like Ricola

One chick for me and one chick for Watsky

He love them older women that be screaming out "Yatzy!"

Topsy-turfy, I'm not so pervy

Compared to Intuition, well like them girlies

We like them brown, Puerto Rican, or Haitian

A new kind of sexy is sweeping the nation

I'm impatient but

Yesterday I bought a pullup bar

I made plans to go jog down the boulevard

I changed my culinary choices from full of starch

To full of shit

It's a total farce

I haven't run a lap in years

But I'll crack a beer

And run the poker table like a fucking racketeer (ey!)

I'm like Boom shakalack-fuck

Let's have a potluck

I got a hot buck burning a hole in my pocket

So let's hit the tac-truck

Jock's suck

Just throw everything we got in the wok

And let's grub till it looks like we're knocked up

I got a new kind of sexy

I'm working on a recipe for rich

And exotic combinations of some fresh kinds of sexy

A new kind of sexy

Justin brought sexy back, but that sexy's a cheap one

So we brought that sexy back and exchanged it for a refund

we got a

we got a new, kind of

a new and shiny kind of shiny kind of