Cannonball

I don’t know what was wrong

But I wasn’t as strong

I’ve seen daisies hold cannonballs above them

But if this was a dream

I still know that I’ve seen

Fields of daisies hold cannonballs above them

I’m so far from perfect

You still loved me when I so far from deserved it

If I’m so brave why does looking you in the eye take every ounce of my courage?

I hang my face to the linoleum and count the freckles on the floor

All of us, all of us are a galaxy of tiny little storms

The good and evil in me wage a bloody civil war

The missiles whistle through me then the rebel pistols roar

I shiver and the final slivers of my chivalry retreat my shriveled core

I can’t imagine the I’ll ever be happy like before

Before, before

We’re sitting in a field in Golden Gate Park off Fulton and 4th

And I’ve never felt less alone

Just a block from the home I’ve outgrown

Five feet and forty years to the right from where dad proposed

An inch above this casserole of stones, grass and mud, rusty needles, lost guitar picks, Indian tombs, and dinosaur bones

Everything happened all at once

And the world is spinning like a hubcap, and not just because of the drugs

We hugged and laid there in each others’ arms all night

Even when the sprinklers cried on us we didn’t mind

We had the rest of our lives to be dry

So we stayed until the edges of the sky turned light

I would have stay until our hair turned white

The mosquitoes arrived to feast on time

Got drunk at our expense, we didn’t mind

We let them bite, we kept on kissing and obliged

Say “bottoms up, you’ve only got till Tuesday so enjoy the ride!”

And I couldn’t imagine that I would ever be unhappy again

And I whispered in your ear that this moment is already a poem

That I just figured out my first tattoo was going to be of bug bites

Decided I’d commemorate their bloody drink by printing three circles on my ankle, perfect and pink in permanent ink

The beautiful wounds that will keep me, you and this moment forever linked

To remind me when I fail myself, when I fail everyone around me

When I misfire and come tearing through your walls

When the cocktail of humiliation and pain poisons my veins

And this carnival of carnage, this mansion of garbage, this parking lot of carcasses, this heartbreak party drains the spirit that remains

That I have been a part of something worthwhile

To remind me of the pleasure your pulse

The measure of your breath

The rise and fall of our fortunes and our chests

These spectacular triumphs and flops

That even if that moment meant nothing to the universe, it’s the closest thing to God I’ve got

I’m so far from perfect

So far it’s been worth it

But if this was a dream

I still know that I've seen

Fields of daises hold cannonballs above them

I don’t know what was wrong

But I wasn’t as strong

I’ve seen daisies hold cannonballs above them

But if this was a dream

I still know that I’ve seen

Fields of daisies hold cannonballs above them

But if this was a dream

I still know that I've seen

Fields of daises hold cannonballs above them