Out of Jail

I sat at a bar having a beer

Trying to hold down the stool

When a stranger walked in stood there beside me

And plopped down there like a fool.

He started drinking then he started talking

About things that were wrong in his life

The more that I heard the more I believed

The thing that was wrong was his wife.

You talk about beauty when we first met

She was all a man could desire

Talk about love one night with her

Would set your very soul on fire.

But loves little flame is out of control

About three feet high from behind

Ever since we've been married well, I've come to believe

That love's for the dumb and the blind.

'Cause you talk about ugly when she gets mad

She goes from Jekill to Hyde

She grits her teeth and her eyes roll back

And pivot from side to side.

She completely rewrites the whole English language

Descriptive four lettered and loud

Now I can't out think her but I can sure out drink her

And that's what I'm doing here now.

I've spent seven years with the wrong woman

Seven and going on eight

She spent seven years naggin' and eatin'

I'm overwrought and she's overweight.

If I try leavin' she has me arrested

And takes her own sweet time gettin' me out

If she ain't number one she's in the top two

Of things that I could live without.

Men commit murder and all kinds of mayhem

In a few years they're back on the streets

Highway robbery and white collar crime

And they laugh at the system they beat.

Sometimes I'm tempted sometimes I'm ashamed

Of the things that the law will allow

I could have killed her when I first met her

And I'd have been out of jail by now.

I could have killed her when we first met

And I've have been out of jail by now...