Too Dumb for New York City

When I first saw New York city

I was green down to the core

You could see my red neck glowing

For a mile or maybe more

Between the hustlers and the hookers

I must have made their day

Cause they peeled me like an apple, Lawd

And sent me on my way

When you're pushed and shoved and almost mugged

It ain't no place to be

So I came to one conclusion

New York ain't for me

From sea to shining sea

And coast to coast

Somewhere in the middle

Is the land I love the most

I ain't California pretty

I can't survive the Great White Way

I'm too dumb for New York city

And too ugly for L.A.

I made my way to Tinseltown

To Hollywood and Vine

Out among those pretty faces

I'd surely find a place for mine

The way I walk-the way I talk

They'll hang on every word

But don't call me, I'll call you

Was all I ever heard

In L.A. what they're thinking

Ain't what they talk about

At least in New York city

There's never any doubt

From sea to shining sea

And coast to coast

Somewhere in the middle

Is the land I love the most

I ain't California pretty

I can't survive the Great White Way

I'm too dumb for New York city

And too ugly for L.A.

I'm too dumb for New York city

And too ugly for L.A.