Pork Soda

Now listen up you know ya come home from working that nine to five and

lay yourself down on burgundy couch, you know, it never really was

burgundy. It was red, and you painted with the goddamn sprinkler and

now you have bits and pieces of burgundy stuck to your butt every time

you get off of it. You never tell your family, you never tell your

family because, you know, ol' Junior, he's got no brains, and what can

you do? What can you do?

Grab yourself a can of pork soda

You'll be feeling just fine

Ain't nothin' quite like sittin' 'round the house

Swillin' down them Cans of swine

Ha ha ha! Yes, Dad's an idiot alright!

Well, alright, I'm really starting to worry about you. You had to have

that two-car garage with the large driveway so you could park that

goddamn boat in it. If it wasn't for the boat (blah blah blah)

Grab yourself a can of pork soda

You'll be feeling just fine

Ain't nothin' quite like sittin' 'round the house

Swillin' down them Cans of swine

I like Kansas wine...

Well, maybe it's something simpler, like your team lost or your

girlfriend used to be a guy, you know, I don't know. I mean...(blah blah blah)