Denial Works For Me

Your mother gives the bathroom door

A final and desperate yankin' -

I been caught wankin'

"What's taking so long?!" she'd implore

'Cept here's something she's not seen before

Oh man, you been caught wankin'

I been caught wankin'

It's probably pretty Freudian

But its happened to every man

I been caught wankin'

Someone walks too suddenly in

And you're left standin' with a silly grin

And your dodger's still in your hand

I just been readin' N.M.E

'Bout what lately has got cred

They been caught wankin'

Look, its true that it might just be me

But I tell you what, as far as I can see

They're massaging Kojak's head

They been caught wankin'

He's a bloke you could meet any day

Last names? - hey, just drop it

He been caught wankin'

"Tom and Nicole" he'll often say

In his own familiar nice bloke way

Hey Ray - get your hand off it

Been caught wankin'

We all saw the funeral for Lady Di

And didn't you just want to barf?

They been caught wankin'

The media all with their snouts in the sty

Crocodile tears caught in their eyes

You had to be heartless not to laugh

They been caught wankin'

Why is it just so hard not to gag

When a rock star adopts some big issue?

Rock star, caught wankin'

"No animal cruelty" they're likely to brag

But later they'll put a fish up some slag

For godsakes, who's taken all the tissues?

Rock star, caught wankin'

A bad boy image does no real harm

So by all means, go be caught stealin'

You been caught wankin'

Go be caught crackin' car alarms

Be caught with a needle stuck up your arm -

Just don't be caught with spoof on the ceilin'

Been caught wankin'